


Please Hold While I Connect You

by moonstalker24



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Asexual Peter Hale, Asexual Stiles Stilinski, M/M, romance over the phone at fifty bucks an hour, sex hotline worker stiles, wheeee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 10:19:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3688539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonstalker24/pseuds/moonstalker24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Consumedly said: I just saw this post how someone dialed sex hotline instead of american airlines and .. you can do a steter version! Maybe Peter had to call somewhere for whatever reason and dialed the wrong number and started to talk to Stiles, but it turns out it’s Stiles’s first day at work and he’s awful.</p><p>Ace!fic. Romance that starts over a sex hotline shouldn't work should it? Wrong! Because Stiles and Peter have never conformed to anything. Also Erica is a meddling troll, but it gets them together so they forgive her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Hold While I Connect You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [consumedly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/consumedly/gifts).



> So, the entire prompt that Consumedly sent me was: I just saw this post how someone dialed sex hotline instead of american airlines and .. you can do a steter version! Maybe Peter had to call somewhere for whatever reason and dialed the wrong number and started to talk to Stiles, but it turns out it’s Stiles’s first day at work and he’s awful. It’s awkward and Peter suggest a new job for him because he’s so bad at this one. Stiles’s of course hangs up and gets in trouble with his boss. Peter starts to ring two times a week and only wants to talk to him. I’ve no idea what happens then. IS Peter asexual and only wanted company. Maybe STiles is also asexual and that’s why it’s so bad, still is some days when some client spring something new on him and he has to research while they’re talking. what happens???
> 
> I kinda took the idea and ran with it. Some of the prompt isn't exactly what was asked for, but I'm pretty happy with the outcome.
> 
> I love writing Ace!fic so much. ^_^

**Please Hold While I Connect You**

 

It’s Stiles’ first day. He’s nervous as all get out. There is nothing about this that suggests that he’ll ever be comfortable with this job… but, well, it’s a job. He’s _needs_ this job. College is expensive. Food is expensive. He lives with Scott and Danny and Erica but two out of three are unreliable when it comes to getting their rent in on time. So when Erica offered to get him a gig at the call center where she worked, he jumped at it.

Because that would mean that two out of the four of them would be reliably employed.

Of course, Erica never actually said _what kind_ of call center it was.

He really wishes she’d specified.

It’s one of those 900 numbers. They sell phone sex to strangers at a rate of like fifty bucks an hour. If he’s on the phone for eight hours that’s like 400 dollars a day. Of course, he won’t see all of that, taxes plus the owners get a percentage… it’s more like a hundred and fifty to two hundred a day… not bad for a part time student. Four days a week here and he’ll have eight hundred dollars a week to show for it.

Well… If he makes it a week anyway.

Stiles is Ace. Erica knows this. It explains why she spent the entire drive into work today giggling into her curly blonde hair, cutting him amused looks with big hazel eyes.

He hates her a little bit.

He’s still uncomfortable from the training video he and two other newbies had had to watch earlier. Now he was seated in a cubicle with a stack of scripts piled up on the desk in front of him to help him get into the swing of it, thanking whatever deity has control of his life that the walls are high enough he can’t see any of his coworkers when he’s sitting down.

This is going to go badly. He knows it.

The phone rings. Stiles stares at it like it’s going to bite him and shakily picks up the top sheet of paper. The one with the company greeting on it. He picks up the receiver, clears his throat and puts the receiver to his ear:

“Hello” he croaks, clears his throat and goes for sultry but misses by about fifty miles and just sounds dorky instead. “Thank you for calling Lonely Hearts Hotline. My name is Stiles and I’m yours.”

“I - What?” a male voice demands on the other end of the line.

“I uh…” Stiles trails off, surprised. “I’m here to service your needs?”

“Are you trying to sell me phone sex?” the voice is incredulous.

“Isn’t that why you called?” Stiles wonders in a small voice.

“No! I'm pretty sure I got the wrong number” the man says. Stiles can hear the crease between his eyebrows. “You don’t sound like any sex worker I’ve ever heard.”

“Excuse you!” Stiles says, straightening up in his chair like the guy can see him and it makes some sort of difference. “I can be sexy!”

There’s a snort on the other end of the phone “Prove it.”

Stiles gapes at the gray wall of his cubicle for a second, then rifles through the script sheets, picks the least cheesy one he can find and gives it his best shot. The man on the other end of the phone cracks up halfway through. Stiles is indignant.

“Stop it, it’s my first day.”

“I think it should be your last. You are not good at that.”

“I can be sexy!”

“I’m sure you can” the man says, amusement clear.

“Look, you… you-”

“Peter” the man inserts helpfully.

“Thank you. Look, Peter, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a giant douchenozzle.”

“Oh, ouch. I’m mortally wounded by that one.”

That sets off a snark fest that lasts the next two hours. By the end Stiles is half in love with this Peter guy’s snarky sense of humor. At the end of the call, after Stiles has created a new account for Peter and charged him a hundred bucks they part with Peter telling him he should play to his strengths.

Some people like the dude that can make them laugh.

He decides that Peter might have a point. So he plays to his strengths. The first week is highly awkward and embarrassing. Any time spent with Erica now means that his face is perpetually bright red. He’d never really noticed how raunchy she was before.

By the end of the first week the girls on the switchboard have him figured out and they mostly send him the calls from people who just need a laugh or someone to talk to. Apparently a good portion of their clientele call in just because they’re lonely, so Stiles is perfect for it.

Erica coaches him on what to say and how to say it on the other half of the calls he gets. The ones where the person on the other end of the line want him to use his voice to get them off. It makes him uncomfortable and creepy, and he knows waaay more about sex than he ever wanted.

But the money is good, so he sticks with it.

The only thing he ever tells Scott and Danny about his new job is that he’s working with Erica at the call center and it’s okay. Not the most stimulating thing ever, but it will keep him in gas, food and a home for the rest of his senior year of college.

Halfway through his second week Peter calls again. He requests Stiles by name and the girls on the switchboard tease him about getting his first regular. Stiles is pretty sure he was so red he could be sighted from space.

The conversation starts out just like the first one. They snark, a lot, then they hit on the subject of books. They talk nearly all of Stiles’ shift. Stiles doesn’t realize it and he freaks out a bit. As soon as he starts to calm down on the way out the door, his boss calls him into her office.

Ms. Blake is young, beautiful and articulate. No one really knows how she got into this business, and everyone is too frightened of her to ever ask. She gives Stiles a case of the skin crawlies and by the time she's done lecturing about how they have a service to perform and each one of them is required to take so many calls during their shift, Stiles is ready to put his own eyes out with the perfectly sharpened number two pencils she keeps on her desk.

After that Stiles and Peter get better at regulating how much time they talk when Peter calls.

Stiles doesn't understand why an articulate, intelligent man is calling a phone sex hotline for a decent conversation, but he doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth. He likes Peter. He's sarcastic, mean, funny and they learn over the weeks of Peter calling in twice a week that they have a lot in common.

They continue on in this vein for a while. Eventually they get to the point where Stiles has not only given Peter his personal number, but they’re texting buddies and snapchat friends. Neither of them mentions meeting face to face. Stiles is terrified of what could happen if they do.

He hasn’t had the guts to tell him that he’s Ace. He’s in love with Peter, he’s self-aware enough to know that, but he doesn’t know how Peter would react to know that Stiles doesn’t care for the idea of sex at all. So… he just never says anything.

Danny and Erica are convinced that Stiles should just _tell him already_. In Erica’s mind it will get rid of the pining and all the talking about Peter. For Danny, his reasoning is that if Stiles finds out now, before Stiles falls in love, then at least he can break it off before he gets his heart broken.

Stiles stares up at him with big doe eyes and whispers “Too late.”

What follows is a night that will go down in history as one of the highlights of the Mahealani-McCall-Reyes-Stilinski household. There is an epic amount of junk food and they watch _Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Galaxy Quest_ and _Evolution_.

Scott let’s Stiles cry on his shoulder and doesn’t complain about the possibility of snot on his shirt, not even once. Danny gives Erica a manicure while she does what she does best, create hilarious commentary for already hilarious movies. Stiles is comforted and decides to just get on with life.

He’ll tell Peter if and when Peter ever asks to meet in person. Until then he’s going to enjoy every second of it.

\- - -

Meanwhile, Erica plots. She talks it out with Danny, who doesn’t approve of sticking noses in other people’s love lives. It’s mostly because he’s got bad taste in guys and he knows it but he likes getting laid on the regular. He’s not looking for forever right now, he’ll worry about that after college.

Boyd tells her to just be ready for any fallout should her plan go badly over skype one night. He’s in Arizona learning the art of the Architect. Erica hates that he’s not at Berkeley with her, but he got a full ride to the U of A, so she let’s it go.

Scott tells her to be careful because he won’t try to stop Stiles from getting revenge.

So several weeks after they all find out that Stiles is in love with this older dude that he’s never actually met before she bribes Marin and Braeden at the switchboard with baked goods and gift cards to a spa.

The next time Peter calls, he gets shuttled to Erica’s line instead of Stiles’. She answers the phone with mischief in her eyes and pitches her voice low and sultry.

“Hi, I’m Erica and -”

“Whoa, hang on.” Peter sounds mildly surprised, then irritated. “Where’s Stiles?”

Erica sits up, drops her sexy voice and get’s to the point “Okay, so I’m Erica, Stiles is not only my roommate but my best friend. I bribed the switchboard so here we are.”

“Oh?” now he sounds mildly amused.

“Yep” Erica pops her ‘p’ into the speaker and she can hear it echo down the line. She loves doing that because she knows it’s annoying as hell. “So listen up scumbucket, and listen good.”

“Scumbucket?” Peter asks.

Erica steamrolls right over him “What are your intentions toward Stiles? Are they romantical feelings? Or are they platonic? Also, what is your orientation? Because Stiles is Ace and that is grace and he ain’t gonna change for you.”

“I - He’s Ace?”

“You gotta problem with that?” Erica demands.

“What? No!” Peter sounds defensive for a moment, then Erica can hear the smile in his voice. “Why would that matter?”

“Because to a lot of people the idea of no sex is a deal breaker.”

“Well it isn’t for me.”

“Why?” Erica is determined to get the right answer.

“I’m Ace.” Peter sounds relieved “Do you think he’d -”

“YES!” Erica shrieks, then clears her throat and sits back down in her chair after her leap into the air. She’s getting dirty looks from the neighboring cubicles. “Yes. But only if your feelings are romantical.”

Peter clears his throat “I can definitely tell you that yes, Erica, my feelings are _romantical_ in nature.”

“Good, then you have my blessing as well as Danny’s and Scott’s” Erica says and then hangs up on him.

She flings a double thumbs up at Braeden and Marin around the edge of her cubicle and when Peter calls back, they send him off to Stiles just like they usually would. Erica is satisfied that Stiles will end up happy. So that’s one of her boys down. Two to go.

\- - -

Stiles is trudging across campus in the evening at the end of October cradling his phone to his ear and listening to Peter rant about stupid people that work for him. He’s a lawyer, and he hates his fellow partners at the firm and his clients. He regularly talks about taking up something like patent law just so he doesn’t have to deal with people quite so much.

Stiles knows that Peter would miss proving people wrong and shoving their faces in it too much to actually change his specialty.

“So I was thinking that I deserve a nice dinner after I win tomorrow” Peter says. Stiles abruptly tunes back into the conversation and promptly trips headfirst over a curb when Peter continues “I think you should let me take you to that Mediterranean place.”

Stiles scrambles to pick up himself, his books, several pens and his phone. He sits on the pavement, legs akimbo in front of him and breathes into the phone “What?”

There’s a long pause on the other end of the phone line.

“You don’t want to meet me.” It’s said as a statement. It’s said softly. It has Stiles flailing to answer in a way that will keep Peter with him.

“No! It’s not that!”

“Then what is it?” Peter asks. There’s a guarded timbre to his voice; something Stiles hasn’t heard since that first call.

Stiles says nothing for a long time, trying to gather his thoughts. He doesn’t know how to say it, because everything is all jumbled up and he isn’t sure where to start. So he decides to begin at the top of the list and work his way down to the bottom of the barrel of monkeys he’s been sitting on for a couple of months now.

“I’m scared you won’t want me.”

There’s a sharp inhale and Peter says “Why would you ever think that?”

“I’m Asexual” Stiles whispers, so softly that he’s terrified that Peter is going to ask him to say it again.

There’s a silence on the other side until Peter says “Oh thank god” in a relieved tone of voice.

Stiles almost falls over again he’s so surprised by that reaction.

“I thought she was lying” Peter continues.

“You thought who was lying?” Stiles demands, derailed and already suspicious.

“You’re friend Erica” Peter tells him. “She answered the phone two weeks ago and basically told me not to hurt you or she’d bury me in a very deep hole.”

“She didn’t say that” Stiles replies immediately. Erica is way more creative than that.

“I’m paraphrasing.”

Stiles reboots and he settles firmly into his seat “So me being Ace isn’t a dealbreaker?”

“I’d be one hell of a hypocrite if it was” Peter says. Then he snorts “Stiles, I’m Homoromantic Asexual.”

Stiles takes a second to have the same reaction Peter did and says “Oh thank god.”

After a few minutes of listening to each other breathe Peter finally says “So, dinner?”

“Hell yes!” Stiles exclaims.

They go to dinner that Friday. The food is horrifyingly bad. Peter doesn’t finish his, but Stiles does and pays for it with a nasty case of food poisoning the next day. But the company made up for it. Peter is as beautiful in person as he is on snapchat (more so) and twice as sassy. Peter doesn’t take his eyes off Stiles for one second and makes it blatantly clear that Stiles is very important to him.

Somehow, Stiles thinks he can live with that.

After that they spend nearly every waking moment either together, texting or talking on the phone. The number of random snapchats lessens as they settle into each other’s lives as more permanent fixtures. Peter stops calling the hotline and spending a couple hundred bucks a week just to talk to Stiles.

It becomes an inside joke that Stiles works for a sex hotline since he’s very, very asexual and also a serial monogamist. Peter likes that about him.

They have their first kiss on Halloween. They spend it camped on Peter’s couch eating junk, handing candy out to small children (and some teenagers once it gets late enough) and watching all of the Halloween movies (they skip the third one since Michael Meyers isn’t in it).

Peter makes a snarky comment about young Jamie Lee Curtis that makes Stiles almost snort soda out his nose. It makes Stiles realize he is very much, deeply in love so he does what he usually does. He acts on it.

He lifts himself up from his slouched position leaning into Peter’s side and plants a sloppy, close mouthed kiss on the older man’s lips. He returns to his previous position and since he can feel Peter’s surprised gaze he smiles up at him and says: “I love you.”

Peter’s gaze is surprised, but pleased and he presses a kiss to Stiles’ temple and says “I love you too” while Jamie Lee Curtis screams on the tv screen.

By the time Thanksgiving rolls around the grand majority of Stiles’ stuff has migrated over to Peter’s house. Danny takes it upon himself just before the break to pack up whatever’s left and take it over to Peter’s. He dumps the boxes in the foyer and tells Stiles that he’s moved out and Isaac is moving in so can he have his key to the apartment please? Stiles hands it over and suddenly he’s living with Peter.

Neither of them mind that much.

His Dad knows about the lawyer his son is dating and actually speaks to Peter on the phone on a regular basis in a mutual conspiracy to see to Stiles’ happiness and good health. Peter usually gets into fights with his sister whenever Talia calls. Peter never calls home, and Talia doesn’t like that her little brother never comes home or calls or anything.

Peter tells her that he’ll deign to show up for dinner over Thanksgiving weekend if she can convince their sister to shut up on preaching about how Peter is broken because Asexual isn’t a thing. Talia is surprised to hear that Peter is coming home. Stiles asks loudly if that means they’re eating two thanksgiving dinners in one day, because he loves Peter but he loves life more.

Talia is stunned because both Hales can tell he did that on purpose. She’s a little hurt that Peter never told her that he was finally in a relationship, while knowing she shouldn’t be surprised and that she earned it. She’s never defended Peter for his orientation before, despite it not changing how much she loves him.

She takes the high road, offers to do a family dinner the night before the holiday if that works for them.

It does.

Scott hitches a ride back to Beacon Hills with them. They’re staying with the Sheriff, and they get in around dinner. John actually has the weekend off for once. His deputies had kicked him out of the office when they found out that Stiles was bringing a significant other home to introduce to his father.

They want details.

They get in fairly late, but John is still up. They have a light dinner and while John isn’t sure about the age gap, he likes that Stiles is so happy, so he lets it slide and just goes with it. Peter is family for as long as Stiles wants him to be family.

On Wednesday they make the drive out to the Hale House. Peter had told Stiles about his family. How his parents were gone, and Talia had taken over as matriarch of the Hale clan. How Talia seemed ok with Peter being Ace, but how the sister between them, Marlena didn’t believe it was a real orientation and wouldn’t stick up for him.

It made for awkward and vaguely hostile family gatherings, so Peter usually just stayed away.

The atmosphere is tense and Stiles can feel it before they even make it into the house. So he does what he does best and decides to just flaunt it. He and Peter are happy and in love and why shouldn’t they show that? So he clasps Peter’s hand in his own and they enter the house together.

It starts out okay. Marlena hasn’t arrived yet, so they get introducing Stiles to Talia and her brood over with. Stiles and Peter are always touching. Hand holding, fingers brushing over arms, forehead kisses, regular kisses. Stiles breaks out his sex hotline voice a couple of times to wind up Derek and make him uncomfortable.

By the time the dreaded sister arrives, everyone is more or less comfortable with the college guy their Uncle brought home from Berkeley. Marlena is awkward, because she can tell that they love each other but she thought Peter was Asexual.

Stiles takes great pleasure in explaining that they both are, but that doesn’t preclude them from having a romantic relationship, thanks.

The rest of the evening is strained and both Peter and Stiles are happy to leave.

Thursday is a blur of too much food, football and pie. John makes up for Peter’s family’s failings by calling him Son a lot and treating him like a fixture in his life. Peter likes it and it’s a little bit like having his own father back (only a sarcastic, cop version).

By the end of the weekend they’re both happy as clams and leave weighing more than when they arrived.

Returning to Berkley is nice. They settle into their lives. Stiles settles in at the house and finishes unpacking the boxes Danny brought over. Peter goes back to the firm with a picture of he and Stiles to put on his desk. Stiles returns to the hotline because no matter how well off Peter is, he actually kind of likes working.

Erica is smug because she feels like she deserves credit for getting them together. She got Stiles the job after all, and she talked to Peter which convinced him to ask Stiles to meet him.

They let her take the credit. They’re too happy together to care if she does.

  
_.. fin .._


End file.
